Couple Missing From Carnival Cruise Ship — Daily Intelligencer.

Rescuers are searching the waters off the coast of Forster, Australia for 30-year-old Paul Rossington and 26-year-old Kristen Schroder. (Surveillance camera footage shows the pair falling from their Carnival deck on Wednesday night.) 

Remember when Regis and Kathy Lee were shilling for the Carnival “fun ships?”

Listen, if you get on one of these poop cruise extravaganzas today, well, you get what you pay for!

And you know what? Back in the day, they weren’t all that fun either.

Here’s a true story for you. My partner and I had only been dating a few months when we went on a Carnival Caribbean cruise with another couple. One night, some binge-drinking “WOO!” girl was in the ship’s piano bar. She leans over to the piano player and says “HEY! I’ll show you my tits (TEEEEE-uts) if you play ‘The Stars Fell on Alabama!” Lee whacks me on the arm and says, “We’re leaving.” That’s the moment I knew we were destined for each other!